his

job. job. job. (no, not an occupation or career. the one in the bible, job with a long o. get it right.)

job = god fearing man.

job = blessed man.

job = wealthy man.

job = family man.

and here comes satan, trying to tell god that job's faith is purely based on his blessing, the fact that god made his life essentially perfect - if he didn't have all of his material wealth and a healthy family, he wouldn't praise god.

but god knows job really loves him. so he puts his faith in job. and let's satan test him.

so he takes the material things away. he takes away his family. and still, job praises god.

"the lord gave and the lord has taken away; may the name of the lord be praised."

and of course satan isn't satisfied. he tests him again. he physically hurts him.

but god still loves job, still trusts job, still fights for job. his heart aches for job to stay with him. not to run away at the hurt, but to find his healing in him. if only job will stay, if only he will turn to god, he will bless him again, he will heal him again, he will hold him forever.

but job falters. and he questions god. he gets scared and he gets bitter and he gets sad.

and god reminds him who he is.

and job remembers. job stays.

"i know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be twarted...my ears had heard you but now my eyes have seen you."

he praises god, in the midst of strife. when satan took everything away.

so when we strip ourselves of all that we are, whose are we?

we. are. his.

job striped himself of everything, and he came to god.

and god healed him.

"the lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before."

what job thought was good, god doubled.

he gave him TWICE as much as he had before. so when we strip ourselves of everything, when we get rid of all the plans in our head, when we let go of everything in our lives, when we allow satan to take away the things we think we loved...and we still come to god...

he blesses us.

he heals us.

he holds us.

i'm ready for the doubled part. i know i don't deserve it, i know i'm not actually ready for it, but i want to be. i want to be completely satisfied with christ alone. i want my heart to be fulfilled with only him, completely only by him. and i'm not there yet. but i'm working on it. and i'm trying to strip myself of the rest.

cause i want to be made prosperous. twice as prosperous. i want to get through it all. i don't want to fight the shredding anymore. i don't want to hold on to the dirty. or the pretty. or the things in between.

i just want to be his.