how does it work, this whole love thing? because i guess i'm trying to get back to being even remotely intrigued by it, but it's difficult. and i guess that's because i'm confused. curious? not entirely, but just wondering how and why and where. i feel like the when will work itself out, but if i screw up the rest? it's debatable.

i guess we'll start with where. this "soul mate" - where do you meet them and where does it begin? a bar? a class? a concert? right, i get it, nobody knows. "it's different for everyone." fine. i guess i can deal with that.

now why? to fulfill natural human desires? to feel a purpose? to believe in yourself? to believe in someone else? to be completed? ok. i see that.

but how? how do you fall in love, how do you get someone to fall in love with you? is it really a natural process? how do you keep them around if you don't have the voice of patty griffin and the body of keira knightley mixed with creativity and enthusiasm and spontaneity and spunk? what makes you worth keeping? what makes anyone worth keeping?

love is a weird thing, i wish i could figure it out sometimes. but then i realize i fall in love often, with shoes and ideas and food and impossible dreams. how, and why, and where do you fall in love with irreplaceable people?


i've been waiting and waiting for my doubt to come.

if i had my way i would tear this all down, tear it down, tear it down, tear this all down.







maybe it's because i've felt so close, but i can't seem to grasp it in all of its glory.
so why?
and how?
and where?
am i going to love someone?